Time check: 5:11pm. It's officially tomorrow. The day. The retreat day. Holy crap. I'm genuinely terrified. I don't know. But, at the same time, I'm excited to see her. Small glances of her would be what could brighten my day, atleast. Gosh, I hope I get to make some small glances without making it look obvious, and WEIRD. I seriously don't wanna look weird. She probably likes somebody else, too. Crap. Sigh. I say, as I try to tell myself it's completely fine. When, it's not. Okay, I get it. I can't really get what I want. But, I seriously want her. I want Half. I want that one. I want that cookie so bad. I really do. But, reality hit. She's one of the popular girls. Probably not even gay either. No hopes up at all. My friends are seriously feeding my delusions though. Saying I would look good with her. In my dreams, lol. I wish. I so wish. If you asked me what wish would I genuinely want to happen in my life... It would so be for her to be mine. Gonna have her in my story on some love song, and everybody shock that I somehow succeeded in making her my girlfriend. Oh, I wish. That would genuinely be some top level satisfactory of me. But, like I said, SO rare. I did make a girl gay once. Can I do that again? Lol, probably not. Big no. That was the past. Ugh. Seriously. She's so beautiful. I can't wait to see her tomorrow. She's really gorgeous. If I somehow succeeded in making her my girlfriend, I'd definitely be flexing that. Alot. And by that, I mean, HER. She's MESMERIZING. I'm pretty sure I'm not the only one who's in love with her. But, man. I wish I really was the only one for her. She's probably head over heels for some dude who does not deserve her. She deserves me. I could treat her better than that dude. Harsh truth. Harsh truth of understanding that I can't have everything I want. Everything I need. But, seriously. I really wish this wish of mine in succeeding to make her mine, becomes true. I really do. Oh my. I'd thank everybody. I'd celebrate thanksgiving everyday like there's no tomorrow. That would definitely be a first, too. I'd appreciate something like that. I wouldn't mind having to do anything JUST. FOR. HER. If it's to make her mine, sure. I'd be down for that. She's worth the wait. IF she'll give me a chance. I really hope she'll give me a chance to let her see how genuine I am about her. If she gave me a chance, I'd show her how loving I can be, and how I'd never let her feel upset about anything. If she'll be upset with something, I'd promise her that I'd be there for her to surpass that upsetness. With my care, love, and gratitude towards her. Oh, I'd so definitely treat her like no one ever has. I'd be the best thing that has ever happened in her life. IF she'd let me enter hers. That's something I can't force. Something I can't control. It's her life. Her choice. Aglow, Mowl, Sbat, Yatter, Route, etc. They all know that I like her. Can you tell that I couldn't really shut my mouth about her? Oh, yeah. Obviously. Duh. Man, I really hope she'd ask me more about it. I didn't write a lot. I really do hope she'll ask me more. I want her to knoooooooooowww!!! Please, don't just ignore it!! I'm gonna be so upset. Maybe even an irl talk or she'll message me in insta? Maybe?? Just, I want to hear her thoughts. What she thinks about it. Time check: 8:18pm. She just added in her notes "Guysss write me palanca letterš„¹", trust, I did write you a palanca letter. With my bad handwriting on it too. Now that's romantic. I hope she'll love it, and it'd make her day. I bet she'd never expect me to write her a palanca letter. Knowing that we've never much spoken to eachother. Only academics. Gosh. This is top notch. Time check: 8:52pm. I'm genuinely terrified. I don't want more people to make her palanca letters. I only want few. Including me. I want mine to be the most sincere one.